Valentine's Day 2026: The Lightbulb Moments That Changed My View of Romance! 😊❤️🎭💝💘💌

Hello world! Welcome back to another blog, and a happy Valentine's Day to you all! I already did a blog on how I see romance as an autistic woman (which you can view here: https://www.theautisticactress.com/post/valentines-day-special-how-i-find-romance-in-the-neurotypical-world), but over the past year and abit, and after thinking about some encounters in my teens, I've had a different way of seeing romance, and how it may also link to being autistic. So without further ado, here is my view of romance.

The Two Lightbulb Moments:

The main reason to my view of romance was due to two "lightbulb moments". Here are those two moments:

• Tulisa- On I'm A Celebrity in 2024, N-Dubz Singer Tulisa talked candidly about possibly being Demisexual, meaning you have to form a strong emotional bond with someone in order for sexual attraction commences, stating how getting intimate with people, particularly with strangers makes her feel physically sick, and I can so relate t the fact that I'm a slow burner after she talks about being one herself. Click the link here to the full video where she talks about her love life in full:

• Friend- My second lightbulb moment came when I met a friend in London, and let's just say that the emotional connection came through at the end of the night when we said goodbye. That feeling didn't make me feel physically sick, but instead it made me feel nice and warm, and it was at that moment where whether it turns into something romantic or not, that feeling is the foundation of something I need in order for it to turn into anything sexual

Earlier Moments In My Childhood I Didn't Realise Until Now:

Back when I was younger I never had a boyfriend. I know it's okay to have that, but I looked at my classmates then and they made it look so easy. But after my first lightbulb moment, two of the moments that could've been a sign that I'm Demisexual were:

• Unease on blind date- I went on one back in 2018, and I won't lie, it was my worst nightmare. Don't get me wrong, the person was so lovely, but it was because I didn't know them that made the whole thing nauseating. I know it's called a blind date for a reason, but at least I can say I won't be doing that again.

• Unease after them inviting me to their own house- Back when I was at college, I had a few guys liking me, with one of them inviting me to their accommodation (and we don't need to guess why that is), but I would decline the offer immediately. Looking back, that's a sign to say that meeting people for the first time and hooking up with them without knowing them.

Sexuality After These Lightbulb Moments:

Throughout these moments, I did wonder about I'm also demisexual. I came to the conclusion that I don't want to put a label on it, and there's a few reasons why. The first reason being that whilst I appreciate that a label is important to some, for me personally it doesn't feel right to do that. And that's okay, as alot of people don't do that. In this case, Christine McGuinness likes both men and women, but identifies as a free spirit, and there was speculation that David Walliams was pansexual, but he simply stated he likes people. The second reason being that I feel like alot of what I'm experiencing is also linked to traits in being autistic (which I'll talk about more of in the next section). The final reason why I'm not labelling my sexuality is it all depends on the person. As I rely on an energy match when it comes to romance, and yes I'll be nervous who wouldn't be, but if it doesn't make me feel sweaty and anxious, you're onto a winner.

How This Might Link to Being Autistic:

As mentioned in the previous section, a lot of what I'm feeling I think is linked to being autistic. Here are the two traits I think link to the feelings I'm experiencing:

• Masking- Masking has made me a slow burner, as being my natural autistic self can be very scary.

• Not picking up on social ques- This can also make me a slow burner, I struggle to work out what social ques are romantic, and what are not, so I hide away in my shell to avoid embarrassment

Summary:

I see romance differently to other people, and it might change depending on who I meet, but for now all I can say is don't expect me to go on First Dates or Love Island anytime soon, as not only will both of those environments will be too overstimulating for me, but snogging strangers will make me want to throw up. And if there are any strangers reading this and we

And that is it on my blog of how I view romance. I hope anyone reading this can resonate with me and to know that they're not alone. Please see a video format of how I see romance as well.

https://youtu.be/2I4wT31L9tg

I also want to finish off by saying that whatever you're doing today, I hope you all have fun doing it :)

See you soon for another blog. Until next time...

This is The Autistic Actress signing off :)